Paint the Town Red

[Nancy Thompson]

Characters Appearing: Invite?
Location (s): Ash’s Cheesy Hardware Store of Doom
Previous Thread Name.: Que
Plot Summary.: Bad book, bad mistakes

[Nancy Thompson]

Stepping out from her car, she deftly slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder and locked up her vehicle with a mere flick of a button. Cocking her head back, she regarded the hardware store with an air of disbelief, emitting a defeated sigh as she pondered her decision to visit, influenced by the persuasions of a few acquaintances. They had assured her of the establishment's commendable prices and great customer service, yet she found herself unable to reconcile such lofty praise with the store's inclinations for frivolous advertisements.

No fault could be found in the ads, for they did indeed possess a certain humor that occasionally elicited a little snort from her. Yet, certain aspects failed to align with her sensibilities, imparting upon the establishment an air of uncouthness rather than professionalism. Nancy resolved to cease her criticisms and clear her mind of any preconceived notions, choosing instead to entertain the possibility that the store's acclaim was justified. Perhaps she would find herself pleasantly surprised by the ensuing experience.

With determined steps, she made her way towards the main entrance, her silky ringlets tousled by the wind as she struggled to close the door behind her. The soft clicks of her heels announced her arrival, and a discerning eye would have noted that she had only just departed from her day's employment. Clad in sleek nylons, a black blazer, and a knee-length skirt, she wore tiny pearl earrings that complemented her attire. In comparison to some of the store's patrons, she might have appeared somewhat overdressed. However, her stay would be brief, for weariness had settled upon her, and she longed to return home without delay. Her sole purpose was to buy paint for her walls.

The establishment was not as bustling as she had anticipated, a circumstance she deemed advantageous, for it contributed to her burgeoning sense of optimism. Navigating to the appropriate aisle, she happened upon a helpful color catalogue boasting an array of shades beyond her wildest imagination, far surpassing the offerings of most other locales. As she perused the options, she creased her brow, the fine lines around the side of her mouth becoming more pronounced as she pursed her rose-bud lips in thoughtful contemplation.

She proved to be a self-sufficient customer, inclined to assist herself and only seeking aid when absolutely necessary. As she pondered why she had not ventured to the store sooner, she chanced upon the perfect hue for her bedroom and promptly endeavored to locate a sizable quantity of it. To her chagrin, the desired paint was not readily available, prompting her to seek assistance.

"Hello?" Nancy called out in a genteel manner, delicately tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she carried the color catalogue, hoping to inquire about the availability of the pastel blues stored in the backroom. As she glanced about, her gaze fell upon a rather tall, stocky figure, and although he stood with his back to her, a sense of familiarity washed over her. Suddenly, a voice boomed from the nearby television, exclaiming, "What's better than a handful of my nuts? A long screw!" She halted beside the man, and as she took in his broad chin, brown eyes, and slicked-back hair, a wave of recognition washed over her, prompting her to cast a furtive glance at the screen before returning her gaze to him, where realization slowly dawned.

Oh.

"Mr. Williams, it’s nice to finally meet you,” she laughed awkwardly, feeling the timing was utterly inconvenient, which forced her to find hilarity in the situation at the expense of her own comfort. "Hi, I'm Nancy. I could really use your help. You see, I was, uh, hoping I could have you check on something for me.” She grinned, despite the embarrassment, “I like the shade Placid Lake, but it doesn’t seem to be available anywhere. Think you could take a look in the backroom for me?”

[Ash Williams]

"HA! Perfection! And only twenty-two takes!" A tall man wearing a blue shirt with a red vest said as he smiled up at the commercial playing on the screen above the cash register. Ever since he arrived in this place a couple of years ago, he knew his hardware store/porn shop would go over great! This town was far too squeaky clean not to welcome a teeny bit of depravity!

Ash Williams, a man who saved the world and Elk Grove from destruction, has been transported to different worlds over the past few years. He first found himself in the Middle Ages, then in Elk Grove, followed by Elusion, and now he's somewhere else. His memory of the last place is a bit fuzzy, but he remembers the faces of some of the people who seemed important to him. He could recall a blond kid, a spiky-haired girl, and a fluffy woman. However, the memory of the fluffy woman makes him feel uneasy, causing him to shift his weight. Despite his confusion, he managed to find Clementine, a girl from a different dimension who told him about the living dead that overrun her world. Ash had faced Deadites before, so he knew what to expect. All he remembered about his current situation was that he was in Elusion, and then the sky turned dark, followed by a bright purple light. After that, he blacked out and woke up in the middle of a city next to his car, with the book chained inside.

After putting in some effort, he finally bought a storefront in the busy shopping district. He was able to open the hardware store he had always dreamed of. His store was better than his dad's store or S-mart in every way possible. He even offered items such as beer, adult magazines, and ...other stuff. Ash also had a place to live, the apartment above the store. He parked his Delta and trailer in the alleyway next to the store. After reuniting with Clementine, they settled into a rather comfortable life, or as comfortable as one can be when they have a dangerous book chained to a wall in their basement..….

Hearing the bell above the door, Ash turned and saw a woman standing at the entrance. She was quite attractive, but he couldn't understand why he immediately shifted his weight before putting on a bright smile.

"Hey there! Welcome to Ashy Slashy's Hardware…" he held his mechanical hand next to his mouth. "And Porn Emporium! So, are you looking for a paint color?" he said, approaching her. "Sure, I can get you that. Whatever I don't have, I can mix." He then leaned forward a bit.

"Gallons worth…" he said with a wink. "Take a look around while I check the color code on it. Hardware and rope to your left, housewares and appliances to the left, porn and sex toys in the back. Be careful back there. Just mopped the floor…" he smirked before stepping behind the counter, picking up a large book, and searching for hex colors.

As he turned, a red light came on from under the door behind him. The door looked out of place as it was riveted shut and was secured with a padlock and chains.

[Nancy Thompson]

She crossed her arms and listened with a half-smile, playfully rolling her eyes as he uttered the last bit almost privately. She shook her head and raised her eyebrows, the lines of amusement becoming notable over her forehead. "Thanks for the heads up," she chuckled, appreciating the levity of his humor for a moment. It helped ease her discomfort, but she still laced her hands together and fidgeted quite a bit, averting her gaze to the window. Little did she know that the fellow helping her at the store that day was someone she had seen in her youth, on a night when she dozed off.

In a bygone era, within a disparate existence, a precious and mature young girl appeared to be under his watchful care. Alas, that all now belonged to the annals of time, and much changed since those distant days. She found herself gazing at the owner as she stood in the store, allowing her eyes to linger upon his form before dismissing the perplexing déjà vu she had just encountered. Her musings were abruptly disrupted by the sound of a paint can rolling into view from an unattended aisle, swiftly followed by another.

Nancy found herself unable to elucidate the peculiar events unfolding before her, and an unaccountable compulsion drew her gaze to a crimson light emanating from beneath a peculiar-looking door. Like a possessed marionette, she tilted her head to the side and stood without blinking.

She then cleared her throat and pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking off the peculiar sensation before gracefully kneeling down to pick up the cans and placing them on the counter.

"I don’t know how that happened," she said vaguely, her mind momentarily wandering. "But here you go.”

In a moment of discomposure, she found herself unexpectedly beset by a malaise that she could not readily explain. Her countenance, once composed and assured, now betrayed a certain unease, as if the delicate threads of her well-being had been momentarily unraveled. Leaning wearily upon the counter, she sought solace in the comforting touch of her own fingertips as they gently massaged her furrowed brow.

Her thoughts, usually so finely attuned, now seemed clouded by a curious haze, as if a veil had been drawn across her rational faculties. She could not help but wonder whether her sudden indisposition might be attributed to a mere deficiency of caffeine, for she had long been accustomed to the invigorating effects of a well-brewed cup of coffee. However, as she endeavored to dismiss her discomfort as a trifling inconvenience, a flicker of uncertainty lingered in her troubled gaze.

Thus, with a steadying breath, she ventured to articulate her need to her companion, hoping that he might offer his support in this unexpected moment of frailty.

“I know I’m asking so much of you already. If you have any coffee in the break room , could you make me some? I think I’m getting a headache." She mumbled.

[Ash Williams]

Ash was searching for a particular number. Unbeknownst to him, a red light was emanating from under the door. It had been years since the book had done anything, so the light went unnoticed. After finding the hex number, he turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him. She was quite attractive, even though he couldn't quite place why she seemed familiar, he still could not shake the feeling in his crotch. It wasn't the stirring that came from seeing a woman with nice legs. This was…something else. Like that feeling a soldier gets when he loses an arm and still feels it later on? Phantom crotch?

Ash was startled by two loud thuds, which made him freeze. He turned to see two cans of paint rolling on their own. As he stared at the cans, the hair on his neck stood up and his instincts kicked in. He was about to press the button under his counter, but he stopped as the woman customer interrupted him, asking for coffee and breaking his concentration.

"Sorry, don't worry about it. Happens all the time," Ash lied, averting his gaze towards the paint cans. "Let me get you that coffee. It won't take long." He walked out from behind the counter and made his way to the back where the employee lounge was. "Freaky...," he muttered while switching on the coffee pot and pouring in water and a pack of grounds.

As he left the counter unattended, the red light grew brighter. Slowly, each rivet holding the door started to turn, and a light tinkling sound echoed through the air as they fell to the ground one by one. The door opened slowly, and cold fog began to roll up the stairs, covering the floor.

“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnncyyyyyyyyyy….”

A deep guttural noise came from the staircase, audible only to her. Other customers around her were busy with their own tasks and seemed unable to hear or see it. Suddenly, the cold and chilly fog began to retreat and was pulled back down the stairs with a loud whoosh. The red light pulsed at the bottom of the stairs, accompanied by a deep breathing sound.

[Freddy Krueger]

After what felt like an eternity of being roasted in the fiery pits, Freddy decided he was well-done with hell's skin-flaying hospitality and yearned for a change. He figured it was time to bring some heat to the surface and show the world what real torment looked like. He just couldn’t do it alone.

Trapped in a fiery limbo with his demonic balls in a vice grip, Freddy couldn't just couldn’t walk out of there. He'd been defeated so many times that even his underworld sponsors were starting to question their investment in him. But the old coot wasn't about to let them off the hook that easily. He was going to remind everyone who the hell he was and do it his way, with a razor-sharp edge.

Then, just like a bad penny, a voice from the past slithered into his consciousness. His eyes widened as he raised a finger blade to his lips, a twisted idea taking shape in his twisted mind.

He couldn’t believe his crispy ears when he realized who it was. The irony that the one that got away had returned to him in such a special moment, just when he needed her the most to break free. His classic nemesis was back from the dead, ready to give him a run for his money even now. Well, well, well, looks like it was time for a devilish reunion. What better way than to play on the bitch’s daddy waddy issues?

He could almost shed tears of joy if he wasn't such a heartless bastard. What he could feel now was a weird sense of glee as something made him glance upward, forcing himself to make out the voices he could hear. One sounded like a fat Elvis with a side of washed-out, the other, the soft bitch he recognized immediately.

"Naaannccyyyyy…" he growled, snake-like and full of loathing. His burning hatred for her could probably light a planet on fire. He struggled to resist the temptation to abandon his escape plan and give her a makeover with his trusty blades. Who needs to leave hell when you can create your own personal inferno right here? One's a party, two's a show! Now those other sausages? Undead Thing One and Chonky Thing Two could jerk each other off for all he cared. He had major beef with that uppity brat.

"The one that got away," he whispered creepily, refraining from running his knives over things while she was nearby. He could feel her presence. "Not for long, bitch. I'll make sure to keep you kicking until I get what I want. So do Freddy this last favor and…come to daddy.”

He almost got dead butterflies in his stomach when he thought about revisiting the good old days of offing kids. He was on the brink of a nostalgic trip down memory lane, and nothing was going to stand in his way now. So, with the last will of his power, he pulled off his best imitation of her father's voice, pleading for her help, "Princess, is that you? Nancy! You’ve gotta get us outta here quick. That guy you were just talking to? He’s a lunatic. He’s got a bunch of souls trapped in this book. Don’t let him catch you or he’ll do the same to you!" Not too bad of a reel to catch a big fish. Convincing, cruel, and nostalgic. 

He could kiss himself.

"Listen to your father, Nancy. He's telling the truth. I…we should have believed you when you were seeing that filthy child murderer in your dreams." Freddy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he added insult to injury by doing yet another spot-on impression of her drunk-off-her-ass mommy. He could only pray that the pink whore wasn't conveniently hard of hearing, or else he'd be stuck in this hellhole for even longer.

As if things weren't bad enough, Jason was always lurking nearby. Freddy had put in the effort to figure out his own escape route, and he sure as hell wasn't about to let Whorehees take the easy way out with him. So, he had to move fast. Especially since with that book, he'd be untouchable even in the waking world. An everlasting nightmare could become a reality, whether you were catching Z's or not. What a dream come true!

All she had to do was get close enough and say three special words. Boom! Let the old genie out of the bottle, piglet. That’d just be the beginning! He would finally have to hold the book in his hand and yell out the stupid Latin phrase. Too easy!

Freddy, steady, go.

[Nancy Thompson]

The unwell woman managed a tight smile in response to his words, but as he turned away to attend to her, the polite grin faded from her lips and her blue eyes hardened. "Happens all the time, right," she muttered under her breath, not wanting to alert him to her sarcasm. He was quite friendly to her and didn’t deserve any of her rudeness. She just couldn't agree with his attempt to dismiss the strangeness of what they saw. Even though she had done the same thing just seconds ago, she knew better than to make a scene, lest she be confined to a cozy straitjacket. It physically hurt her to brush off such a tangible instance like it was nothing.


Again perturbed by the crimson glow oozing from beneath the door, she only took notice when it creaked open, unleashing swirling silver mist that beckoned her towards the depths of what seemed to be a basement. Startled, she recoiled and gasped, instinctively searching for the store owner. When she attempted to call out for him, her voice failed her, leaving her in a numb silence as she desperately clutched the edge of the counter, yearning in vain for his return. The thought of being left alone was unbearable.

As the realization dawned that he had not returned for what felt like an eternity, she whirled around to discover that the other patrons were in their own world, as if time had come to a standstill. A lump formed in her throat as she forced down a hard swallow, her name echoing in the air, audible only to her and no one else.

Nancy was acutely aware that her next action might be the epitome of stupidity, yet she harbored no trust in others, only in herself. This self-imposed, harsh truth weighed heavily upon her as she imprudently glanced back at the disquieting open door. She wanted help, but experience taught her better. Tracing her fingertips along the countertop, she solemnly descended the staircase while the eerie lights of red and green draped her slender figure in otherworldly hues. She seemed to be lost in a trance.


The echo of her heels reverberated with each dainty step, her features unkind with every passing moment, her disregard for trespassing growing. Everything about this was amiss. It always was. She scrutinized the disordered surroundings before stumbling upon a book chained with cryptic inscriptions on the wall, incomprehensible to her.

For a fleeting moment, a sliver of common sense gripped her, as if she were awakening from a spell that had ensnared her.

"God!" she snapped, wheeling around and bolting back up the stairs, nearly stumbling but managing to stay on her feet. She refused to be trapped down here like a fool, scrambling to escape, only to have the door slam shut behind her. As she prepared to call out for help, any help, she suddenly heard voices. More than one. She froze in place, her heart thundering in her chest, her hands clammy with dread and recognition.

She felt an unsettling presence within herself, a gnawing sense that her thoughts had veered far from rationality.

"Daddy?" Her voice quivered as she descended the stairs once more, drawn back to the accursed tome bound in human flesh. She shook her head in disbelief. How could this be real? "Mother? Mother!" Her desperate plea echoed through the silent, oppressive space, as she tugged at the unyielding chains, her efforts proving futile. She scanned the room frantically, searching for anything to free the ancient bindings, but nothing within her reach possessed the strength to break the sinister hold.


She strained to catch every word as they forewarned her about a man. Could it be the same man who had gone to prepare her coffee? The frigid presence of the sinister book in the depths of the basement had already set her on edge, permeating her with a sense of impending peril. "Tell me how to break you out of here!" she pleaded in a hushed tone, casting furtive glances over her shoulder, unwilling to depart without them.

She would do anything for them.

"I miss you." A tender ache gripped her, causing her eyes to become glassy, yet she brushed away the tears with unsteady hands. Now was not the time for sentimentality.

[Ash Williams]

As Ash made the coffee, he turned to the two paint cans that had fallen over. He leaned down to examine them closely and reached over with his mechanical hand and tapped one of the cans and winced as if expecting a reaction, before letting out a breath of relief when nothing did.

"Yeah. Happens all the time, my finely chiseled ass…." Ash whispered to himself as he picked up the two cans and set them back on the shelf. There was no way those heavy ass cans could have fallen off on their own. He knew supernatural shit going on when he saw it. Something didn't feel right. Suddenly, he heard a loud bang that made him almost jump out of his pants, and not in a fun way! The door behind the counter had slammed shut!

"Oh, crapola…." Running back toward the counter, he saw the woman was gone, and light and fog were seeping out from under the do-not-go-in-there door! Leaning over the counter, he could see the rivets on the floor; someone or something broke the seal. Ash then narrowed his eyes, grabbed the PA mic, and smiled.

"Attention, devoted Ashy Slashy customers! The store is now closed! We thank you for your patronage! For those unable to meet all your shopping needs today, please come back tomorrow for a fifty percent discount on all Troy-built weed eaters in our garden section and Troy vs. the crotch eaters in our adult movie section." He said with a bright smile and a wink. As the shoppers filled out, Ash locked the door and turned with a start before hitting the button behind the counter! But instead of calling the cops, the peg board behind the counter opened like a curtain, exposing a wall of certain items, each outlined in chalk!

Pulling off his vest, Ash grabbed a handful of leather straps and holster! Check!

Unlocked his mechanical hand! Check!

Replaced with Chainsaw! Check!

Boomstick! Check!

Spinning the double-barreled shotgun around his finger, he reached over his shoulder and slid it into its holster on his back.

"Time to go to work…." Kicking the door open, Ash made his way down the stairs and saw the woman with big fluffy hair pulling at the very CHAINS that held the giant evil book to the wall! The book, if released, could spell disaster! Put the whole world and countless lives in jeopardy! And worst of all, they will blame him for it all over again! Ash stopped at the bottom of the steps and wondered whether the woman was a Deadite or working for them. How would anyone even know it was here unless they were? He doubted his instincts momentarily. Normally, he can pick a Deadite out of a crowd with no problem. Maybe the woman's looks distracted him, or the woman's knockers. Either way, he didn't want to take any chances..

"Excuse me, ma'am. The basement is for employees only. I'm afraid I will have to ask you to step away from the book and leave. And besides, the only daddy around here is me…" He said, switching the safety on the chainsaw off….

[Freddy Krueger]

The pathetic bitch, that delectable soul he couldn’t wait to devour. He never got the chance. Sounded like Nancy was surfing the crimson wave, hosting a pity party in her uterus, and juggling more family drama than a soap opera. Dumb bitch.

He would've cackled like a maniac if he wasn't so wrapped up in playing puppet master with her gooey heart. He didn't want to ruin his master plan, but there was one dicey move on the board, and that's what had him all riled up. He gritted his yellow teeth and shot a nasty look at the flames all around him.

So there she was, probably with this guy who had the nerve to call himself daddy before revving up what sounded suspiciously like a freaking chainsaw. Was he really going to split the bitch in two? For once, Freddy was actually worried about her survival, but let's not get it twisted - his concern was purely selfish. He couldn't care less about her; he just needed her to break him out of the shithole! Her part in this was his ticket to freedom! Her soul was his to harvest, and nobody was allowed to off her except him!

He pretended to make peace with her for now, but once he was out of there, it was showtime. "Find a way to break these chains, grab the book, and chant these three words Klaatu Barada Nikto! Free us all, baby. Put that old dog to sleep for good!” He said, speaking as her mother.

He prayed she wouldn't screw up so badly, or he'd be back to square one. Time was ticking, and Jason was likely lurking nearby, ready to crash his party.

[Nancy Thompson]

Nancy hastily brushed away her tears with the sleeve of her blazer, her grip on the chains slackening as she pondered how to free the accursed book from its restraints. She envisioned a future where she could make up for lost time, ensuring she would never suffer the pain of separation from her parents again, and putting an end to their struggles with alcoholism. She was qualified to help them with their emotional well-being now. A sudden chill gripped her as she heard Ash closing up the store, prompting her heart to race ever faster and pressuring her to run while she still could. The pounding of her heart throbbed in her ears, her once gentle breaths turning ragged as she let her arms fall to her sides.

Whirling around, she refused to shed another tear in the presence of the looming figure before her as the door was swiftly kicked down. While she tried to hide her fear, it was evident in the beads of sweat forming on her forehead and trickling down her neck that she wasn’t underestimating him in the slightest. Her once lustrous curls now clung to her glistening skin, and her lower lip trembled with vulnerability.

Whoever this man was, he terrified her. What his intentions were, she perceived them to be dark and could only result in death. Why else would he have collected souls? He was willing to even use a chainsaw against her

“Fuck you,” she hissed. Her eyes seemed to absorb the darkness of the room, and although they appeared wide and doll-like, a fierce determination emanated from them, leaving no doubt that she wouldn’t simply submit. He would have to bring her down, but she was resolved to take him with her, all while honoring her parents' wishes. But her chances of doing so were slim. It would be like taking down the Roman Empire when she was but a humble civilian with nothing but the clothes on her back. Nancy sensed time slipping away, and the man before her, though not a nightmare demon, exuded strength and readiness, swiftly arming himself, showing no inclination to talk it out. She shakily drew in a breath, swallowing the knot in her throat, pressing her back against the wall and mentally bracing herself for what lay ahead. Then, she heard her mother's voice guiding her on how to free them, but just as she caught that crucial information, her own squeak of fear drowned out the vital clue.

"Put that old dog to sleep for good!" would have been the gravest mistake if she had heard those final words spoken, but fortunately for the entity, and unfortunately for Nancy and Ash, it went unnoticed.

Nancy let out yet another piercing scream as she instinctively seized a couple of beer cans and flung them one by one, aiming for her target with uncertain precision. Undeterred, she continued sprinting toward what initially appeared to be the stairs. However, as she realized her arms held no ammunition in the form of Shemps, she swiftly discarded her blazer to reveal a matching navy blouse underneath. Without hesitation, she flung the garment around her assailant's neck, using all her strength to tighten the fabric and add to the pressure of his asphyxiation.

As she fought to maintain her chokehold on him, she realized she was both buying herself some time and edging closer to her bloody death. Desperate to hold on, she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, every sinew in her body protesting. She was no longer as spry as she once was. While she retained some aspects of her youth, her aging body occasionally reminded her with creaking knees and the occasional morning backache. It had been years since she had faced a life-or-death struggle, feeling like a cornered mouse in a house full of cats.

"I did it! I’ve got him! Come and get me, you asshole! Who’s your daddy now?!” she screeched, gritting her teeth and flinging her head back in frustration, realizing that this struggle was far more challenging than she had anticipated. Doubts crept in about whether she was making any significant physical impact at all. Her eyes locked onto the gun in the holster, but she couldn't release her grip to nab it just yet. She urgently needed to find a way to reach it in a way that such an act wouldn’t cost her.

[Ash Williams]

Ash blinked slightly at the girl and her brazen comment, "Uh, excuse you, Lady, but whose basement is this? If anyone is telling anyone fuck you, it's me! So yeah…fuck you." She then screamed like a banshee, making Ash step back momentarily as he stared at her with wide eyes. It was then something hit him in the face that made him stagger for a moment, only to be hit with a second object in the face as he covered his eye with his gun hand!

"Ow!" He looked down only to see two Shemps beers thrashing around on their sides, spraying their precious golden liquid on the ground as he gasped. "Hey, those are the most expensive cheap beers money can buy!" He then looked up, and his eyes widened, seeing the girl rushing at him like he was the last gluten-free cupcake at a Weight Watchers meeting! "Ooo!!" He ducked as she leaped onto his back and began thrashing around in circles, her Prada heels digging into his sides like spurs!

"Gah! Git off me, ya crazy broad! What are you trying to do here!" He then felt her jacket around his neck as she began to choke him! "AHHHKK! Eerkayyouaskedferit!” The chainsaw revved as black oil-filled smoke poured out of the exhaust pipe as he brought it up over his shoulder, just missing her giant hair! He then swung her around before putting it in reverse and smashing her into a metal tool shelf behind them! The chainsaw cutting through a post or two in the meantime! Only to turn her around in the opposite direction, taking out a pile of playboys he had stashed down there! 

"Gak! I …hAd thoSe .. orGaniZed…by sIze!!" Now completely pissed, Ash growled and swung his chainsaw up, smashing the lightbulb as it flashed, giving the basement a cool strobe effect! He could feel the cloth around his neck tighten as he lurched forward with the chainsaw at full speed toward the book chained to the wall! The teeth then hit something, causing a spray of sparks that lit up the room in flashes of orange and yellow!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!....................-tink!-

Time froze for a moment as Ash stopped in his tracks just long enough to see a few chain links hit the ground just as the emergency generator kicked up, switching on the work lights in the basement. He slowly looked up, seeing the book hovering in mid-air with its eyes glowing a dark red.

"Ohhhhh..Fuuuuuddgeeee…” He said in slow motion. Only Ash didn't say fudge; what he really said was…

"FUCK! Fuck fukity fuckfuckfuck!" Standing up straight, he took a few steps back, crazy broad in tow, as the book began to laugh! The deranged novel then floated away from the wall and opened as its pages flipped all on their own! Stopping at a full-spread pin-up of a burned-up guy in a torn Christmas sweater and also one of the ugliest supermodels Ash has ever seen….

"..Gross.…I guess they let anyone stroll the catwalk back then…" He muttered, with Nancy still clinging to him like a baby koala.

[Freddy Krueger]

Her high-pitched shrieking hit him like an ice bucket challenge. For him to try with all his might to kill her when that was an honor reserved for Freddy? His blood temperature rose faster than a pizza in a wood-fired oven as he suddenly felt like a pissed off toddler with a lost favorite toy. He spread out the pointy blades of his glove and couldn't help but be cheesed off at the jerk who thought he could just swipe at his plaything. He wasn't just seeing red; he was practically painting the town red, and it had nothing to do with the dreadful decor of his underworld abode. "She’s mine! MINE! MINNNEEE!" Freddy bellowed, his voice like a broken record. "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, PROPHESIZED SHITLORD?”

Hoping against hope that she was still kicking so he could finish her off, he scanned for any clue that the book might pop open like a stubborn pickle jar, granting him a solo escape act without her pesky assistance. The chains were cut, and now the fleshy-bound book was about to witness Freddy's grand debut as he strutted his stuff, extending his now very long arm with all the drama of a wannabe magician pulling off a tricky trick and the flexibility of an over boiled noodle. With a hardy cackle, he pierced through the page like a super villain busting through a flimsy comic panel, his body slinking out in a creepy snake shimmy that would make even the smoothest serpent jealous.

Half of his body dangled weirdly outside the book, seeing both the savior and little miss bitch. With a rotten grin stretching across his face, he offered a shallow deal, brandishing a blade towards his own chest without making contact. As he rose from the page, his gaze drifted towards the scattered pornographic materials, whether magazines or tapes, he couldn't be bothered to distinguish. "Listen here, manwhore. Your washed out existence means nothing to me. I know a broken man when I see one. So let’s bury the hatchet, you and I. Why should we fight? Hand over the bitch and old Freddy will make sure you sleep nice and cozy in your warm bed tonight.”

In every cursed reality, he was fully aware that he and Nancy were destined for a showdown of epic proportions. If he couldn't manage to erase her in this particular version, some old dude would whip up a cringey script to ensure her triumph, gearing up to roast him like a marshmallow in a ridiculous loop of cheesy good versus evil. Somethin’ about her being a gatekeeper. He couldn’t remember the details. He just knew she absolutely had to be snuffed out once and for all, like a candle in a hurricane.

As he was gearing up to attack, he suddenly felt something coil around his leg. Startled, he looked down, half-expecting to see Jason sneaking up on him at the worst possible moment. Talk about inconvenient guests! "OH NOOOO! AHHH!" he screeched in a tone reminiscent of a rusty gate, tumbling over himself in panic and dragging Jason out of the book with him. "GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG, MAMA'S BOY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT DADDY WENT FOR MILK AND NEVER CAME BACK FOR YOUR WHORE MOTHER."

He puffed and wheezed like a bulldog attempting a disco move, suddenly realizing that his powers were as feeble as a kitten on a leash out here, with gravity throwing serious shade his way, probably whispering,

^{"Welcome to my world, bitch."}

Freddy was tougher than a two-dollar steak and had been haunting the folks of Springwood for ages. He would remind them. He was ready to serve his guests another round of terror with extra cheese on top.

He had a to-do list longer than a giraffe's neck! First up, dodge Jason like his survival skills were on a lunch break. Then, give Nancy's gut another surprise visit just for kicks. Next on the agenda? Dangle a piss-scented can of Shemps for Ash to chase like it was the last Coca Cola in the desert. And finally, snatch the book and transform the world into his own fun playground. Phew! This guy was busier than a squirrel in a nut factory!

[Jason Voorhees]

Somewhere deep within the depths of hell, a deadite began to stir. The sounds, so muffled and far away, came in irritating waves that seemed to pry the sleeping giant from his burning slumber. His glassy eyes creaked open, his fingers tightening into fists. That voice. A grumble emanated from his chest. He knew that grating voice. It rang in the boiling hot air like the distant cackles of a hyena. The dust that had settled in his lungs from years of non-use puffed out of him like smoke as gentle hold of unconscious began to weaken.

”She’s mine! MINE! MIIIINE!”

Jason shot up like a child startled awake by a nightmare, though he felt little fear. His undead heart began to pound with rage. Standing to his feet he stared in the direction of the sound, his shoulders heaving. Wordlessly, he picked up his machete, the trusty object had laid just by his side, and stalked his way toward the sound.

The scene before him would’ve confused him if he weren’t so distracted. A familiar man, a long time enemy, was hanging out of a strange portal. It was like a mirror into the world beyond. He could see the blurry visage of man and woman, as well as his arch enemies upper half. Jason tilted his head until his neck gave a satisfying pop. Good. That little crick in his neck had irked him for decades.

Now, on to the next. His large hand wrapped tightly around Freddy’s ankle, if the dream demon would’ve been a norma man the sheer force of the grip would’ve caused the bone to shatter. Lifting his machete he aimed to slice the dream demon in half at the waist, but something stopped him. As Freddy screamed obscenities he found himself being pulled in, or rather out, but some force. He planted his feet to drag Freddy back into hell with no avail, next thing he knew he was standing in the middle of a storage room.

The storage room was so small to him that his head collided with the lamp overhead. What was happening? Where was he? Was he back in the Realm of the living? He snapped out of his thoughts as Krueger moved about in his peripheral vision. His anger returned. You little weasel. He swiped with his machete at Freddy, his blade cutting through a stack of. . . were those porno mags?! He bellowed as he swiped for Freddy again. This is your fault! You want to ruin my peace? And speak badly of MY mother?

I’ll make your burn look like a tanning accident by the time I’m done with you.

[Nancy Thompson]

Nancy drifted in and out of consciousness, her body throbbing with pain from the brutal damage it had endured. Her hands were rigid from clinging to a man who exuded the scent of cologne, his aggression likened to a rampaging bull wielding a chainsaw. With a sudden jolt, she turned her head just in time to avoid losing a chunk of her hair or worse to the whirring blade. Nancy couldn't help but release a petrifying scream, the realization of how narrowly she had escaped a gruesome fate sending shivers down her spine.

In a desperate attempt to defend herself, Nancy sank her teeth into his shoulder, only to have her grip loosened as the chains restraining the book broke free. What initially seemed like a fleeting victory quickly soured into a sense of fruitless defeat as she recognized the ominous resemblance between the mysterious figure in the book and the dream demon.

Dear God, how could she have been so blind?

"Close it, hurry! He's in there!" Nancy barely managed to cry out, the realization adding fire to her panic as she understood she had been deceived. With trembling hands, she let go of the blazer she had used to subdue the hardware store owner, watching in horror as Freddy came out of the book like it was nothing, his sinister presence filling their reality.

Her initial panic gave way to a hardened expression as she refused to let Freddy see the fear he instilled in her. Nancy had no desire to give him the satisfaction of knowing how he made her feel—small, weak, and utterly defenseless.

Despite her efforts to conceal her terror, Nancy's dread was unmistakable as Freddy fixed his gaze on Ash, his intentions sinister and foreboding. With a sense of alarm, she turned to the older man, silently beseeching him for a glimmer of compassion to influence his decision. "Don't do it! He's lying," she implored, her voice quivering with a mixture of sickness and dread. “If you really believe he’s going to stop at just taking my life, you’re dead wrong.”

The monstrous figure from her nightmares muttered something about Ash being a broken man, eliciting a brief flicker of pity within Nancy's heart. However, she knew that her primary focus had to be ensuring her own survival, if only long enough to thwart Krueger's sinister plans.

Refusing to wait for a change of heart, Nancy acted swiftly, retrieving the gun from its holster wanting terribly to protect herself. However, her efforts were met with unintended consequences as she lost her balance and tumbled backward with a resounding thud, a pained yelp escaping her lips as she hit the ground. Gritting her teeth and throwing her head back in discomfort, she felt the bruises forming on her body, the ache setting in with every movement.

As she struggled to regain her composure and aim the gun at Freddy, a sudden intrusion into their world by another entity complicated their already dire situation. Or— perhaps— not? Amidst the chaos, Nancy couldn't help but notice a fleeting glimpse of something unsettling in her killer’s eyes as he confronted the imposing figure in the hockey mask.

Threat.


"Who are you?" she inquired of the masked entity, her voice raw and strained from the relentless screaming she had endured earlier, a hoarse yet soft quality lingering in her words.

[Ash Williams]

"Who's in where-AAHHHHHH!!" Ash screamed as he hit his head on a beam, feeling a set of teeth sinking into his shoulder! "Ooo you..you...Will you stop doing that!" he growled, bringing an elbow into her nose! Backing away as he saw that the book of evil was letting something out. "Oh, crapola," Ash muttered as he saw a striped torso crawling out of the portal in the book. The basement suddenly filled with the stink of brimstone and burnt bacon, making him feel nauseous. From his perspective, the book appeared to be giving birth to a large, burnt-up man-baby in a tacky sweater. The man was red as a lobster and had the complexion of overdone lasagna. Ash had seen some fugly Deadites before, but this one took the disgusting cake. When the smell hit him, Ash turned his head to the side and waved a hand in front of his face.

"…Oh geez...two words. Axe body spray..…" Then the illegitimate love child of Fire Marshall Bill spoke as Ash paused momentarily, watching him step out of the page and offer him some deal as the older man raised a brow and seemed to be considering it.

"So, lemme get this straight. I hand over the crazy broad, and you and all of this goes away? Hmmm, Tempting." Then Nancy finally loosened the blouse around his throat and began talking right in his ear, causing him to wince! "Hey hey….Do you mind? I am trying to have a conversation here. No back seat driving…" Turning his attention back to the roasted guy, Ash held up a hand.

"Yea..no. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to decline. See, this is my shop, my book, and my customer." Ash said, pointing a thumb at Nancy. "So, here's what's really gonna happen. You are gonna step back into that book and get your narrow burned-up bacon-smelling ass back to hell. Or I'm gonna send you there. How's that for a deal compadre…" Then he felt Nancy loosen her grip as she grabbed…his Boomstick!! Looking over his shoulder, he saw her take his gun and aim at the intruder, only to fall backward! Ash looked down and rolled his eyes as she hit her head.

"What are you…Oooo!" Hearing the bacon man scream almost made him jump out of his skin as something latched onto his leg like one of those sucker fish on a shark! "Aww, c'mon, now what!?" Ash whined as something else was coming through and…was that a hockey mask? As the two visitors faced each other, a hand grabbed Nancy's arm, picking her up to her feet as Ash dragged her to the back of the storage room by the stairs. He then snatched his gun from her hands!

"Okay, rule one, never touch a man's Boomstick! Rule two uh, ...Rule two never touch my stuff just in general!" He then opened the shotgun and loaded in a couple of shells he always had on him before slamming it shut!

"Now you need to get your little shapely hiney up those stairs and let the professional take care of this!"